Talking with your body - Part 1

Hi, sorry for the long wait since the last post but I have been doing a lot of research, so i can begin to add a lot more quality to my posts.

What have I been up to?

Well i have been doing a lot of research on psychology, and more importantly the psychology of both the male and female mind. In order to find out what makes some guys more able to pull girls?

This post is going to focus on body language and the way we conduct our selves when in the company of a girl we like.

Along with my research i have been talking with women as well. Recently i spoke with a few of my sisters friends who gave me a big in site into the female mind!!!

I initially asked them "so what would be the best way for a man to approach you"?

The reply was both interesting, yet very surprising. They said that they can tell a mile off what a guy is thinking by his body language and the way he holds himself. After doing a little research into this i have found out that women can read body language 50% better then us men. Fact women love body language!

So with this i mind i delved further into the question what would be the best way to approach a women? The girls said that it normally starts with eye contact. You notice somebody, noticing you and take if from there. I asked what could a man do with this eye contact that would make him more attractive to you? The answer was keep eye contact, this is a must. Once you see her looking at you lock into her stare, smile and slightly squint and i mean slightly dont make it look like you have something in your eye lol. And do not look away until she does.

Ok so we have now established that you are interested in her, what we need to do now is see if she gives you any signals to invite you over. Apparently one of the classics if shes at the bar is to turn her back to you and rest on the bar, as she wants you to approach her and stand next to her. Another more subtle one is to run her fingers through her hair or tuck it behind her ear.

The next question i asked the girls keeping in mind women love body language was, " ok so just by looking at a man what would be something that would make him attractive"? The answer that came from almost every girl was "confidence", this single factor is what 99.9% of women feel they need to see when they look at a man to find him attractive. What we need to remember is that psychologically both men and women are still if the pre-historic thought pattern that men go out and hunt and women stay at home, cook and clean. So a strong confident man really appeals to women.

Ok so how do we look confident? Well several things can be done to achieve this. Firstly always walk with your shoulders back and your back straight and smile, yes that's right smile. Smiling is one of the most attractive things that you can do. It shows, your happy, your enjoying your self and the truth is that people want to be around happy people! Ok next thing to make our selves look more attractive is chill out and slow down, this dynamically improves your attractiveness, just look at guys like Steve Mcqueen, James Bond, Will smith, Brad Pitt. The word COOL comes to mind and slowing down everything like your walk, your hand gestures, how you grab your drink, put it to you lips and drink it and then put it down will inevitably make you look cooler. At first your will have to consciously think about this but eventually it will become second nature.

Well i hope that has given you enough to think about, and try out.

Things to try out

Eye contact - Just try holding eye contact with a girl and see if you can hold it until she looks away first!

Slowing down - Try slowing your walk down, your hand gestures and small things like drinking your drink. ( don't over kill this and look like your in slowmo though lol - be sensible maybe add a few seconds onto drinking your drink)

Smiling - Studies have shown that people that smile, look more attractive, attract more women and generally feel better about themselves.

Give them ago and let me know how you get on!

Until next time 

Dillinger

A friendly word

I’ve been speaking to one of my friends Craig who is a bit of a hit with the ladies he seems to have no trouble at all getting really attractive and interesting girls. I have often wandered what was his secret? So I final sat him down yesterday and asked him, ok so what’s the score?

Craig said that he has a set plan for chatting to girls and it has a 90% success rate. I asked him to elaborate and this is what he had to say.

“ When I see a girl I like I try to establish eye contact with her. While making eye contact pick out something of her that really attracts you to her. It could be her smile, eyes, her outfit, but pick something. Getting back to the eye contact, if she is interested she will hold eye contact for about 3 seconds and then look away, on the third time of making eye contact with her. I get up (still keeping eye contact) and walk over to her, now remember what you picked out that you liked about her? Lets pick her eyes for the sack of this talk. When you get over to her, the FIRST thing you say BEFORE you mention whom you are is compliment her on her eyes, dress, outfit excreta, something like. I just wanted to come over and tell you that your eyes are beautiful. She will normally say thank you very much, then this is the crucial part, ( walk right past her to a friend, the toilet any where) give it ten minutes and then come back into her eye line and get eye contact again.

Now you can approach with ease as you have broken the ice. This time say something along the lines of, Hi my names _____ would you like to join me and my friends or Hello I’m _______ what do you think of the DJ? Something just to get the conversation started”.

Straight from the horses mouth!

Hey hop your all well!

I was speaking with a friend of mine today and we got onto the topic of chatting people up. I asked her do men normally appear sleazy or rude when they approach you, as this is one of the major hang ups I have is looking sleazy when approaching girls. She said some do but the majority of me have enough decorum to come across at worst pleasant.

This was a revelation for me as I always thought that I would come across like a dirty old man if I didn’t get it right when chatting to a girl. She advised that the best thing a man can do when he talks to a girl is listen, that’s why we have two ears and one mouth apparently! She said there is nothing more frustrating than a man that comes over filled with his own self importance and spends the next hour telling you all about me, me, me!

She said her three top tips when talking to a woman are:

1)    Eye contact (a must)

2)    Listen to what the girl is actually saying and not what you think she is saying!

3)    Smile; show the girl your fun to be with!

Well that has certainly given me something to consider, although I’m sure I have tried all the above but maybe not all at the same time.

Anyway guys give it a go and feel free to let me know how it goes, as I will you. So go on feel the fear and do it anyway!

Help is at hand I think????

For many years now I have found it very hard, well I said hard I mean impossible to approach women and chat to them. Weather it be in a club, bar, restaurant or even a work colleague. The fear is incredible, I mean I will see a girl in a bar she will give me all the right signals but still I have this fear of approaching her. Why?

Well it's a common psychological problem for about 75% of men and that's lack of confidence or an inferiority complex. I consider my self to be a good looking guy, a lot of my sisters friends think I'm good looking. So why do I still have a problem?

I think think most men are like me, well 75% anyway. I look at a girl, I think ok she's gorgeous, sexy, classy, her friends says she's really intelligent, she everything I could ask for in a women, but the inevitable question comes along! What will she see in me?

This is our major mistake, we are instantly putting our minds into a negative mind frame, and thus even if we did muster up the courage to approach the beauty in the corner, our body language, speech and general attitude isn't very attractive.

A little experiment I tried that had better results, was to imagine the girl smiling, and being delighted you have come over to speak to her. Lets face it guy's why do girls spend hours getting ready, putting on make-up, sorting their hair and slipping into that little black number it is so guy's yes us, will go and chat to them. So go on imagine the girl, wanting you to go and chat to them, because as we have found out. They do!